


Do You Ever?

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: NaLu [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Post-Edolas Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 05:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: “Do you ever wish I was more like Edo-Lucy?” The question that had been bothering her all evening. No, ever since she had met her counterpart, crept out before she could stop it, pulled from her lips by the unwavering gaze she could feel burning into her shoulders.Lucy struggles with doubts in the aftermath of Edolas, the question needling at her, and it's Natsu who has the answers that she needs.





	Do You Ever?

 

    After the initial shock of Lisanna’s return from the dead – or not so dead as it transpired, had finally started to ease as they watched her laughing and smiling with her family, still wiping away the tears that Makarov’s words had induced, the atmosphere began to take on a festive note. It didn’t take much to get Fairy Tail to party, but this was cause for celebration, and there was no way they were going to miss the opportunity as plans were made to party all night long if possible. After all, how often was it that someone you thought lost came home?

    While everyone else was busy preparing for what promised to be one hell of a party, with several guild members already in their cups, Natsu had filled Makarov in on everything that happened while they were in Edolas. His tale leaving the old man to wonder just how his brats managed to wind up in these situations, seemingly able to stumble from one to the next without giving him time to breathe. Still, he was unable to hide the pride in his voice as he congratulated the Dragon-slayer and his companions on their efforts, voice choked as he thanked them for once more protecting the guild – even if the guild had been unaware of the danger that it was in, and for bringing Lisanna home. Although he knew the latter needed no gratitude, as their joy at her return was clear to see, their eyes continually straying across to the Strauss family huddle. There was also a moment of sadness at learning that Mystogan had left the guild, but at least it came with the knowledge that he was moving on and taking up the mantle of a new, or rather old life, even if it was in another world.

    It was impossible to miss the overwhelming joy in the Dragon-slayer’s eyes, as Natsu glanced across at Lisanna once more, and Makarov was quick to release him. He had been one of the few who Natsu had actually shown the full depth of his sorrow and guilt when Lisanna had ‘died’, and there had been times when he had thought that Natsu might never recover from the loss. It had made an already painful situation worse, as there had been moments when he had feared that they were going lose Natsu too, and it warmed his heart to see the life sparkling in the olive eyes. And he couldn’t help but smile she watched Natsu practically bound across the guild to join the newly reunited family, watching as the Dragon-slayer was welcomed with warm smiles and tight hugs from both girls, and a manly clap on the back from Elfman.

    While Lisanna had been his first and closest friend in the guild, born both from her willingness to believe that Natsu had been raised by a Dragon before anyone else, and the time they had spent together, playing, training and raising Happy. He knew that in the time that she had been gone, Natsu had grown just as close with her older siblings. It had been Natsu who had eventually forced the pair to confront the wall they had built between one another, trying to protect the other from their guilt and grief, and he knew that it was their gradual recovery that had helped Natsu overcome his own grief. That bond showed now as Mirajane shifted so that Natsu could squeeze in to wrap an arm around Lisanna, and Makarov took a deep breath, as a weight that he had been unaware of lifted from his shoulder.

_I have my brats back…_

****

    The party had been underway for a couple of hours, with no sign of the joy abating as everyone took the time to stop by and congratulate the Strauss family on their reunion, drawn to the happiness radiating from the three them, and to welcome Lisanna back personally. However, no one lingered too long, knowing that Mira and Elfman needed this time, and unable to miss the way the three of them seemed incapable of moving more than a few feet from one another at the moment. Not that anyone could blame them, as beneath the joy and the celebratory atmosphere there was still a lingering air of disbelief that they had got her back, and the could only begin to imagine how much stronger that feeling was for Mira and Elfman.

     Meanwhile, those who had been aware of or involved in the events in Edolas were busy holding court as they entertained their guildmates with tales of their alternate Edo-selves. Many of those tales involving gentle ribbing, and much laughter over the more ridiculous differences between them – especially with Natsu and Cana, much to the Earthland pairs consternation, and in the latter’s case irritation as she deliberately took a big gulp of ale as Macao dared suggest she have a cup of tea, his face creased with laughter. On the other side of the table, Juvia was bemoaning the fact that she hadn’t been there to meet the version of Gray who had adored her, although no one could miss the fact that she was still happy to have her Gray back.

     However, for Lucy hearing, the comparisons between themselves and their Edolas counterparts was proving to be a more painful topic that she had expected. There was more than one attempt to pull her into the discussion, but she shied away from them, even when it wasn’t her alternate self that they were talking about. Eventually, she managed to retreat enough to slink across to the wall, safely out of the path of the celebrations, and where she could watch the activity around her, and she found herself gazing around and looking at her friends as though she was seeing them for the first time. Perhaps it was because of the close call they’d had in Edolas, or because she had met their counterparts because she found herself appreciating them all more than usual. Even their more annoying traits seemed more endearing tonight she thought, watching as Natsu launched a flaming fist at Gray’s face, a loud challenge on his lips, which was immediately met with glistening ice as the Ice Mage countered the attack.

    With an ease that came from long practice, and a few too many mishaps, she ducked out of the path of a flying bottle as the chaos began to spread, sighing as within seconds the rest of the guild was pulled into the brawl between the pair. Pressing back into the safety of the wall, she watched the spreading fight with blank eyes for a couple of minutes, before finally straightening with a sigh, for once unable to summon up the energy to enjoy the chaos, even from the safety of the sidelines. Besides, she wanted to think about things, and the noise in the guild was not helping with that endeavour, and with a fond, but exasperated shake of her head she set off across the hall. She was cautious as she moved, but easily able to dodge the airborne items and fists, wincing as she wondered what state the guild was going to be in, come morning. And it was with a sense of relief that she finally reached the side door, slipping through it without a backwards glance.

**

     However, her departure had not gone as unnoticed as she had thought, and Natsu frowned as he watched the Celestial Mage slip out of one of the side doors, unable to miss the pensive expression that was so at odds with everyone elses’ smiles. _Lucy._ She had been quiet all evening, but he had put that down to weariness as they hadn’t had much time to rest between their return and the party, but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to it. Without hesitation he quickly set aside the drink that he had grabbed during a lull in the fighting and got to his feet, nimbly ducking the drunken punch that Gray sent his way, ignoring the startled looks coming his way when he didn’t retaliate.

     It took him a little longer than it had taken Lucy to cross the guild, both because the fight had spread, splintering off into smaller brawls that kept blocking his path, and because he wasn’t used to trying to dodge them. Then there were the mages who had already drunk themselves into a stupor, and the revellers who were slowly turning the middle of the hall into a dancefloor, and more than once he had to dodge around them. However, eventually, he reached the door and sipped out into the cool, night air, unaware of the eyes that watched him leave.

*

“Where did Lucy go?” Wendy asked as she took shelter next to Erza and the Exceeds at a table near the bar, one of the few that was still upright, which probably had more to do with Erza’s presence than restraint on their guildmates side. She glanced around in search of the Celestial mage, surprised that Lucy hadn’t already sought out refuge with Erza, as she generally tried to avoid the more boisterous side of the Guild’s parties. It was Carla who answered, glancing up from her drink.

“She slipped outside a couple of minutes ago.” Wendy blinked in surprise, as although Lucy was by no means a wild partier, especially by Fairy Tail standards, it was unusual for her to sit out of guild festivities. “She looked as though something was bothering her though,” the Exceed added with a concerned frown, and Wendy’s surprise morphed into worry as she glanced across at Erza.

“Should we go and look for her?” She asked, not liking the idea of Lucy being alone while everyone else was celebrating. Erza also looked concerned, but then she shook her head and smiled slightly as she gestured across the guild, to where they could see Natsu quietly slipping out the door with a focused expression on his face.

“There’s no need, Natsu’s already on,” Erza murmured, her smile turning fond, as she knew that Natsu despite his frequent bouts of blockheadedness was probably the best one to cheer Lucy up. After a moment Wendy had to nod in agreement as she recalled all the times that Natsu and Lucy had saved one another, knowing that although their entire team was exceptionally close, the bond between the pair was even stronger. She just hoped that they would be able to resolve whatever was bothering Lucy tonight and rejoin the party before it ended, because Fairy Tail was never more alive than when they were celebrating, and she knew they would both regret missing the party.

****

“What are you doing, hiding out here alone?” Natsu asked as he stepped outside, closing the door behind him, and coming up short as he found Lucy huddled on the top step. He had been expecting to chase after her, and he faltered at finding her waiting there, taking a moment to study her with concerned eyes. She was sat, arms looped around her knees, and her face tilted up towards the stars with an expression that could only be called melancholy on her face, her eyes lacking their usual brightness. Something that he couldn’t name tightened in his heart at the sight, and he frowned, not sure what was bothering him about it, just knowing that he wanted to wipe that expression away and that Lucy should only ever be smiling.

“I was just thinking…” Her reply was soft, so quiet that he might not have heard it without his sharpened hearing, and she glanced up at him, surprised that he had followed her out here, especially as they were in the middle of celebrating the return of his childhood best friend. However, he seemed to be in no rush to return to the party, although she had expected him to give up at her words. Instead, he moved across and sat down beside her. Scooting closer a moment later as he noticed that she was starting to shiver, and as he wrapped an arm around her, she found herself leaning into the offered warmth, one hand creeping up to grasp his vest as though to anchor him in place and to stop him from leaving.

“About?” He prodded when it became clear that she wasn’t going to continue, although she had welcomed his presence, settling into his side. His question was met with a sigh as she turned her gaze back to the sky, and she couldn’t help but wonder how everything could look so normal, the stars in their normal alignment, when only hours before an Anima had filled the sky above them. It was made more surreal by the fact that no one outside their team and Gajeel remembered everything that had happened. And she knew that if it wasn’t for the fact that her body still bore the scrapes and bruises from their various battles in Edolas and the proof of Lisanna’s miraculous return, then she might have been inclined to pass it all off as a dream.

 “Do you ever wish I was more like Edo-Lucy?” The question that had been bothering her all evening. No, ever since she had met her counterpart, crept out before she could stop it, pulled from her lips by the unwavering gaze she could feel burning into her shoulders. She winced as she heard the sharp of intake breath that greeted her question as her words registered, and slowly she turned to look at him, nervously meeting his gaze.

“I told you before, didn’t I?” He asked, his gaze turning fierce as he stared into her eyes and her breath caught, not understanding what he meant, and startled by the sheer amount of emotion colouring his voice. “You’re Lucy of Fairy Tail! We don’t need or want any other Lucy, because the one we already have is the only one we’ll ever need or want.” His voice had risen towards the end, flames flickering in the back of his mouth, and she was startled to see moisture glistening in the corners of his eyes as he shot to his feet, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he loomed over her.

“Natsu…” She trailed off, realising that she didn’t know what to say…or to feel. She’d never expected such an emotional response to her question, and she couldn’t help but wonder why it had set him off in such a way.

“Why?” His voice was softer now, calmer, although the tension remained in his body, and she realised that the control was little more than a façade. “Why would you even ask that?”

“S-she was so different from me,” she replied, unable to keep the waver from her voice, and she had to look away, carefully staring at her feet as she tried to find the words to explain. “Despite everything that was happening in Edolas and the fact that she was responsible for keeping Fairy Tail together and protecting them all, she never faltered. She was always brave and strong, even when their defeat seemed inevitable. I don’t think that I could’ve done that.” Her voice was little more than a whisper as she admitted that last bit, knowing that he would still be able to hear it.

     There was silence for a long moment after her voice had faded away, and worried she raised her head to look at him, stunned to find him staring at her with an open mouth and disbelief written across his face. She swallowed, feeling increasingly vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze, and yet she found herself unable to look away, realising that she wanted to hear his response just as much as she feared it.

 “Brave? Strong?” Natsu demanded when he eventually managed to find his voice again, and Lucy shifted restlessly, uncomfortable under the burning gaze, but then he sighed and glanced away with a small shake of his head. “You don’t see it, do you? How strong you are?” His voice had softened, and there was a sad smile playing on his lips as he turned back to look at her, seeing the wide-eyed expression and the disbelief that was radiating from her expression.

 “But I’m not…” Lucy whispered. She couldn’t understand his reaction, or what he was saying, because surely he could see how weak she was, especially when compared to the rest of their team. Whereas Edo-Lucy had been strong, holding the fracturing guild together and convincing them to act in the face of their fear, lending them all courage when the thing they had feared most had happened. It was her counterpart who had pushed Fairy Tail forward, guiding them towards a future in the now non-magical world of Edolas. She doubted that she could have done the same, and the realisation that Edolas was essentially a reversal of their own world had forced her to see just how weak she was, and she was startled when Natsu let out an exasperated sigh.

 “You are brave,” Natsu countered quietly, dropping down into a crouch in front of her and reaching out to grasp her shoulders, and for a brief moment, she held her breath, half expecting him to shake her or do something even more ridiculous. Instead, his fingers curled as he squeezed her shoulders gently, and it took her a second to realise that he was just trying to make sure that she was paying attention. Taking a shaky breath, she raised her eyes to meet his gaze, stunned by the warmth and sincerity that she could see in his eyes. “If you weren’t brave then you would never have provoked Gajeel when he kidnapped you. You were unarmed and trapped, and you had no idea if we would be able to get to you in time, and yet you still took the risk of riling him up.”

    _But that was just plain stubbornness,_ she thought as her mind drifted back to that situation, her body seeming to ache for a moment as she recalled the pain of the beating she had received back then. It had been close…she had come so close to caving back then, unused to such pain even after all the jobs and scraps she had experienced since joining the guild. However, the way the Iron Dragon-slayer had mocked her and mocked Reedus and the rest of Fairy Tail had infuriated her, and it had allowed her to hold out despite the pain.

“Or, what about when you dragged yourself all the way to the Lacrima inside the Nirvana? You forced yourself to the limit despite being injured and already magically exhausted, and without any idea of whether Zero would be in there or not.” Natsu continued, not allowing her the opportunity to protest his words, and relieved that she seemed to actually be considering what he was saying. Although her eyes told him that she wasn’t completely convinced just yet, which was fine, because he had plenty of evidence to counter her words.

 “How did you…?” She started to ask before trailing off, horrified that he apparently knew how reckless she had been back then. _How stupid…_ She had been so relieved when the whole situation had ended in victory for them that she had pushed her actions and everything that could have gone wrong to the back of her mind. However, she knew that it hadn’t been for Gemini choosing to help her, even though they weren’t contracted at the time, then there was a high chance that it would have ended poorly and that it would’ve been her fault.

“Happy told me about it on the way home,” Natsu admitted with a shrug, and Lucy made a mental note to throttle the interfering cat as some point, before silently cursing herself as she had never even considered the fact that Happy knew what she had done, or that he might tell someone else. “He also told me that you were planning on throwing yourself at it if you couldn’t find some other way to stop it,” he added, and she blushed, glancing away in embarrassment. Surprised that she couldn’t hear a single note of ridicule in his voice, after all, she was fully aware that it was one of the stupidest ideas that she’d ever had.

“You all needed me, but I was stupid,” she mumbled, unable to bring herself to look at him, and somewhere above her head, she heard him sigh, and then there were warm fingers under her chin. And she was unable to resist as with a gentleness she had never thought he was capable of, he tilted her head up, forcing her to look up and meet his gaze, her breath catching in her throat as she realised there was no hint of reproach in his gaze.

“You are a Fairy Tail Mage, and we all do and say stupid stuff. How many times have I insisted on fighting someone who was much stronger than me, even when I know I will lose? Even if you were daft to take such a risk does it make you any less brave?” He asked, and once again she found herself stunned by his words, not least because there was more than an element of truth in what he was saying.

_But…_

“And you say that you could never do what she did when leading her guild despite their differences and fears, but you already have,” Natsu continued without hesitation, and she blinked. Utterly confused this time, as she knew that she had never led the guild, after all, she was too new for that to happen. However, she never got a chance to voice that thought, because seeing her mouth open ready to protest, Natsu squeezed her shoulder and continued before she could, a smile playing around his lips. “Have you forgotten? It was you who managed to get through to everyone when they were fighting during the battle of Fairy Tail, and it was your words and feelings that made them band together to fight the Thunder Palace. You convinced them all to attack those Lacrimas despite their preoccupation with petty quarrels and their fear of the body link magic.”

     Lucy couldn’t breathe, blinking as his words settled over her even as her mind drifted back to that time. To that moment when the guild had rallied, everyone responding to her words, when only seconds before they had been tearing one another apart. She could still remember the warmth that had flooded her when they had all rallied, and the astonishment she had felt when she’d realised that they had listened to her, hearing her words and drawing strength from them. What was it that Cana had said at the time? _That she had more Fairy in her than anyone else_ , and she found her gaze drifting down to the beloved mark on her hand as her eyes started to sting.

“But that wasn’t leading, not like she did,” she protested eventually, although for the first time she felt a gleam of belief in what he was telling her. In response to her words he rolled his eyes, and for the first time, she detected a hint of real exasperation in his expression.

“So?” He asked simply, and she frowned in confusion. She might be slowly starting to believe his words, but surely even he could see the differences between the two situations. “That Lucy was living in a different world, with a completely different Fairy Tail than ours. She led in that situation, and she did it well, but that doesn’t mean that she could’ve rallied our Fairy Tail in the same way as you did. Just as you would’ve led her guild differently if you’d been in her shoes.”  Lucy felt her mouth falling open, realising that she couldn’t argue with him about this, because he was right - she and Edo-Lucy were in entirely different situations.

    Natsu seemed to sense that he was getting somewhere, moving to kneel in front of her once more, eyes warm as he met her gaze. “As for strong, you are one of the strongest people I know.” He grasped both her hands in his as she moved to shake her head, his gaze not wavering in the slightest. “You survived everything that your father threw at you, and you found your resolve to face him and tell him the truth. And you know, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to say everything I need or want to when I finally find Igneel?”  For the first time his voice wavered, and this time it was Lucy who squeezed his hands, stunned by the confession. After all, Natsu was never afraid to say what was on his mind, no matter how inappropriate the timing was – apart from when Erza was in a bad mood, although even Lucy knew that was different, and to hear that some part of him feared a reunion that she knew he longed for with all his heart shocked her.

“I don’t believe that for a second,” she countered after a moment, and Natus blinked at her, unable to miss the certainty in her voice. “If I could do it to a father than barely knew me, then you can definitely do it with a Father that loved you with all his heart.” She had never met Igneel, and the only impression she had was from the little that Natsu had given away in his fleeting mentions of the Dragon that had raised him, but she couldn’t imagine anyone not loving Natsu.

“How can you have so much faith in my strength, but not your own?” Natsu asked with a weak laugh, and she pretended not to notice as he blinked away suspicious moisture from his eyes, and she found herself smiling as well realising the irony in her actions.

“Because you are strong,” she said simply. As though that explained everything, and in her mind it did. Even when he was beaten or injured he never gave up, not on himself and not on his friends, and he gave them all strength just by being himself. She had already lost count of the how many times she had wanted to run away or hide during a battle where she knew that she was completely outmatched, and it had been his determination and courage, so freely given that had given her the strength to stand and fight.

 “And so are you,” he replied just as simply, and she blinked at him in astonishment feeling a faint blush spreading across at her cheeks. “Your strength might be different to mine or Edo Lucy’s, but ours is different to everyone else’ too. Everyone in Fairy Tail has something that gives them strength and courage, sometimes it can be as simple as believing in the guild. Other times it can be trying to outgrow something in your past, or achieving a set goal.” This time his words resonated with her and she smiled at him as a feeling of peace swept over her, the insidious doubts slowly giving way beneath the warmth of his words, and she realised just where her strength came from.

“It’s you,” she whispered surprised, although as she thought about it more, she realised that she wasn’t really surprised. She had always known that he was the source of her strength and courage, she just hadn’t admitted it to herself or…anyone else. Her eyes widened in alarm as it dawned on her that she had just told Natsu, and she could feel her cheeks burning more fiercely than before.

“You’re my strength as well.” She almost missed his quiet words because she was lost in her thoughts, but as it registered what he was saying, her head shot up and she stared up at him once more. Heat flooding her as she found that he was staring at her with soft eyes, although she was relieved and amused to find that he was blushing almost as much as she was. “I mean…” He coughed and trailed off, his blush only increasing and she found herself giggling at the sight, the last of the weight from her doubts seeming to disappear, leaving her feeling oddly light and free.

     Perhaps that was where her courage came from as she climbed to her feet, gently pulling him up with her, pausing as she realised that he was now staring at her with an odd expression that she couldn’t quite put a name to.

 “What?” She demanded,  suddenly self-conscious under his scrutiny, and she shifted nervously from foot to foot when he didn’t look away, his gaze strangely intense. After another moment he blinked and glanced away, an almost shy expression flickering across his face and she frowned in confusion wondering just what was going through his mind. However, before she could even think about asking him, he had moved, and she made a startled noise as suddenly overly-warm lips were pressing against hers. There was a split second of shock, panic clouding her thoughts, leaving her torn between pulling back and escaping, and surrendering. But the warmth and the new realisations that were still buzzing around her mind drew her in, like a moth to the flame, and she willingly pressed closer, deepening the kiss as his arms crept around her.

*

     The kiss, their first kiss she realised bemusedly eventually came to an end, with them both pulling back with matching blushes and soft smiles. However, neither of them were willing to part just yet, and she didn’t protest when the Dragon-slayer pulled her back against his chest, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, before letting his own head come to rest against hers. And she couldn’t prevent the small noise of contentment that she made as she snuggled into him, allowing herself to bathe in his heat, although she did hit him half-heartedly in the arm when he chuckled at the noise she’d made.  

“Ow,” he whined in protest but made no move to release her, instead nuzzling against her head with a happy sigh as he breathed in her scent.

“We’re going to have to go back in soon,” Lucy said softly. Reluctant to interrupt the moment but knowing that their friends would soon notice their absence, if they weren’t already aware of it, and she didn’t want to cause them any worry. Especially not today, on what was a night of celebration, and for more than one reason now, she thought as she tilted her head up to kiss the underside of his chin. If she was honest, she wasn’t ready to go back inside just yet, not because of the doubts, although she knew it would take a little while to bury them completely, but because she wanted to savour this moment, and it was almost a relief when his arms tightened around her.

“In a little while…”

_Let’s just stay like this, just a little while longer._

 


End file.
